i may never be warm again.

Jen the Adult went on her first ever business trip this past week.  (Cue applause.)  And while some of her working friends get to go to San Diego on business, or NYC, or Europe, Jen was assigned the enviable destination of Detroit.  (Cue sighs of envy.)

While a normal person may be confused about the envious audience, anyone who’s been to Detroit in the middle of January knows that it is truly a vacation hotspot–ahem, coldspot.  Just check out all the features Detroit has to offer:

  • Accessible food for all!!

 

If you ever get the munchies while you’re vacationing in Detroit, just go ice fishing!  The ice is about a foot thick, so you can let the kids run around without fearing for their safety one bit.  Don’t fret if you’re not an experienced fisher–the fish are all suffering from extreme hypothermia, so they don’t even fight when you pull them up.

  • Free and unlimited parking!

You know how annoying it is when you can’t find parking anywhere close to the grocery store?  Or when the only spots in front of your favorite restaurant are parallel spots?  Or you get more parking tickets than paychecks?  Then Detroit is the answer!  The whole lake becomes a free-for-all parking lot!  Just make sure you dodge the herds of ice fishers, as their fishing holes may pose a slight danger.

  • Balmy temperatures!

Zero degrees!!!!!  This is the perfect temperature to wear tights under your jeans, giving you a VERY attractive look of tights folded over the top of your pants.  Watch out–it’ll be hitting the runways any day now.

  • Wonderful color schemes!

Light gray, dark gray, medium gray, woolly gray, snowy gray, depressing gray.  So much variety!!  No need to photoshop into grayscale–nature has done it for you!

 

There should now be no doubt as to why Detroit is the new California.  I know that I had a, uhhh, wonderful trip.  So wonderful, in fact, that I hope I never ever have to return.  I don’t think anything could possibly live up to my first Detroit experience.

 

Do you travel for work?  Where do you go?

This is the first time I’ve gotten to travel since I started work.  I got more perdium than I did when I was swimming, but that still doesn’t make Detroit any nicer.

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6 Responses

  1. That’s why Michigan sucks. You should have come to Columbus!

    • I wish!!! I’ll come sometime in the spring when it’s warmer. I’m ready for another block O drink!

      • McFaddens doesn’t have them anymore. : ( But I’m sure we can find something equally good somewhere equally as fun.

  2. Jen, Jen, Jen, something ain’t adding up here. Having lived in Minneapolis, I know that Detroit almost never gets to 0 deg F. And their ice doesn’t get that thick. Being the anal engineer nerd that I am, I decided to check the recent temperature history in Detroit, Michigan. Since the beginning of January, the temperature has not gone below 9 deg F and daily high temps have been in the high 20’s (see http://www.timeanddate.com/weather/usa/detroit/historic). So exactly which Detroit were you visiting?

    • I was in Algonac and Harrison Township, both right on lake St Clair. Maybe it was zero with the wind chill but BRRRRRR it was cold!!!! I’m never going to complain about cold weather again.

      Thanks for commenting on my blog!! Glad to see you’re still reading it!

  3. Everyone looks good in grayscale.

    Glad you survived your trip! I’ve only been on one business trip, and it was to Santa Monica–I don’t think that city has a winter.

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